just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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