wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
