Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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