your thong is hanging out like whoa
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
