Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
