How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
