she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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