i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
