Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
