My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
