just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
