Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
