she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it glows. i had to have it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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