new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize