i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
