I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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