Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
