I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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