next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
