stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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