herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
