Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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