I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize