he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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