used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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