Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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