I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
