he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
