I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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