i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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