Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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