you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
