Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
