My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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