you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
