Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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