I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
