Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I am available for nakedness
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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