i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
