Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
