I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
