I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
