If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
