This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
