So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
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Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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