I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
