yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
