I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
