Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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