so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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