Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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