We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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