its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
