singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
smell my finger.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hippo gnu deer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize