I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
