he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
