I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
