new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
