You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
