i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
