alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
