youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
