For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
