I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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