I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
