she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
